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Le Foyer, c'est nous

Je suis obligé de faire des traductions en mauvais français afin que tout le monde puisse comprendre le blog, mais sois prevenu: mon français est tout à fait nul. Peut-être Sev pourrait m'aider.





So, there are, if you've got any eyes to see, very few things that I would call 'nice' about the foyer. Alors, il y a, si tu peux bien remarquer, peu de choses qu' on dirait 'sympa' du foyer.

Now, I will tell you about something that is great about the foyer, our friday night dinners that we have together. This week, the spaniards (Ana and Jaime) made spanish omelletes, which are apparently called 'tortillas'. After starting eating at about 10 pm, we drank cheap rum, and even cheaper beer til about 2am, and even after that, alot of them went to the bluemoon (a really crappy nightclub), where they danced till 5am. I had to leave after I saw mancheecks. Thank God I don't have pictures of that, but Jaime and Benoit must work out. It is rumored that Jaime forced everyone to play musical chairs at about 3am.

Alors, je te reconterai quelque chose formidable que se passe au foyer, quand on mange tout ensemble le vendredi soir. Cette semaine, les espagnols (Ana et Jaime) ont fait des omelettes espagnols. Après avoir commencé à manger à 22h, on a bu du rhum de mauvaise qualité (On prie toujours à St. James) et de la biere de même pire qualité, et après ça, la plupart d'entre nous ont allés à Bluemoon, et ils ont dancé jusqu'à 5h de matin (pas moi!). Quelqu'on m'a dit que Jaime a forcé à 3h de matin tout le monde à jouer aux chaises musicales.

However, it should also be noted.....

....that Adam rarely raises his window blind, instead choosing to live in almost complete darkness, like a bat, or other cave-dwelling lifeform. -KB

A room with a view of another room with a view

So, in my neverending tirade against le foyer and all that it represents, I'd like to give y'all a walking tour of my room, the most apt description of which I found while reading a short story by James Baldwin, "...and my books and my suitcase, both unpacked; and my dirty clothes flung in a corner. It was the kind of room that defeated you."

From the nearly transparent sheets that are changed at a two-week interval, the oversized tampon of a pillow, which provides as much support as a dead-beat dad, my three different patterns of wallpaper, all of which look like the sheets your parents had on their bed in the early eighties, to the fact that my faucet rarely ever stops dripping long enough for me to regain my sanity, or that every hallway is painted in a primary color, my room thoroughly defeats me.

Are lesbians attracted to themselves in the shower?

todays question..
'Are lesbians attracted to themselves in the shower?'
Adam asks Katie this very thoughtful question as we talk to her through the cubical door while she takes her weekly shower. The answer i never found out.. but i made the grave mistake of repeating Adams question to Jaime about ten minutes later. Jaime's mind goes into overtime.. we don't ask or care to know what hes thinking... he tells us anyway.

Bon Appetit! lundi

Jouons de nouveau:


ça semble bien, n'est-ce pas? Regarde de près!

De plus près:et pour le dessert:


Il n'y a pas de mystère pourquoi j'ai décidé de faire la cuisine moi-même. J'en ai marre. Le foyer Foche delendus est. °°AR

Now it's time for the nitty gritty.

And now it's time to play my most favorite of games, qu'est-ce qu'on mange ce soir.



Notice the completely unidentifiable meat floating in a sauce of godknowswhat. The foyer Foche has the amazing ability to produce food that is both completely tasteless (notice the packets of salt) and completely overcooked. If anyone can help me identify what I ate on Thursday, please email me.

Katie obviously disapproves:



Katie: "I feel rancid just thinking about it." Katie adds, "it was like some hard shell with some anonymous flesh inside."

Ok, so, we need guidelines on how to eat at the foyer de Foche. Severine, luckily, came up with them:

"The first mouthful you think it's okay, you think 'I can eat this'. But by the fifth you realize you can't go on and that you're going to vomit. So it's best to eat it as quickly as possible and try not to chew."


And Katie has 208 Euros on her card, this means she has to eat this shit. Me:


I paid 6.65 Euro for this, which is like 8 bucks. Katie says, diminishing part of the humour (Katie's watching me) of this story, "it's about 4 quid, pretty cheap actually, not that any human should be allowed to ingest this type of stuff."

The Foyer in a single picture?

The picture that I've always felt sums up this place. The combination of misery/boredom/sheer desperation in his expression (who is that fresh-faced young whippersnapper, anyway?). And the kind of murky bluey/greyishness of the whole thing. Someone's playing with a pneumatic drill in the room above me. Sigh. Another day au foyer. - KB

L'espagnol is French for waiting pt. II

After the soirée galettes, most of us went to Rouen for a Spanish party. This was mostly salsa dancing and drinking the crappiest beer on the entire planet (Citadel, fabriqué en UE). The guacamole was pretty damn tasty though. We got there about 10pm, and then the party really started. We left at about 5am, after having danced all night. Sloppiness, thy name is Rouen.



And we all knew what was on Jaime's mind.

L'espagnol is French for waiting.

This was a fairly eventful week. We had, first of all, the soirée galettes, which was a tasty affair. The only problem is being that we'd been eating galette for about 2 weeks straight, and at some point the galette turns to ashes in your mouth. All the French turned out for that one, and we actually had a good time. Everytime we thought we were out of cider, another bottle magically appeared.


Ana lorded over all.

There is a certain poignancy (as Katie pointed out) to the fact that there are two pictures of Ana's cake, which I seem unable to fix; this is probably due to the foyer itself, which is, like the Amityville Horror, an evil house. Also, in attempt to pass yet another Sunday in which nothing happens in Evreux, Charlotte, me, and Katie went to go see King Kong en français. Best movie ever. A giant gorilla fighting FIVE tiny-armed T-Rex at the same exact time! At the SAME TIME! Plus, he f'ing rips two of their jaws in half. IN HALF! Hands down, that almost beats the fact that there wasn't nearly enough booby in this movie. Which (again as Katie pointed out) is an anomaly for a Naomi Watts' movie (I think the subtitle for 21 Grams was "Naomi Watts' long-ass nipples plus some kids dying").

Ana's Cake 

Comment dit-on en francais?

On va raconter à tout le monde notre vie, soit en francais, soit en anglais, soit en espanol, soit en allemand. C'est complètement vrai ce qu'on dit.


Pardon my terrible French--this is a blog developped by and for the inhabitants of the dorm à la française, le foyer. Everything we say has actually happened.